Inside world

Hi! I haven´t been writing for the last two weeks, because it was an emotional ride inside me… A lot of desicion makings and confused feelings.

I will start with some pictures of the events in these weeks, because afterward I will describe the changes it took place in my life in India.

A chinese group came here for some days to explore Auroville. On the last day they made a birthday dinner with traditional chinese meals for one of the members. It was interesting to find out what was vegetarian and what wasn´t. The most weird thing I ate was the “fruit” salad… There was watermelon, papaya and pomegranate in it with corn, cucumber and tomatos… The taste wasn´t so bad at the beginning, but I couldn´t finish it. The tast of the corn got stronger and stronger at the end… One of the guys tried to eat with chinese sticks, but ended up eating with his hands. It was funny to watch an european in india eating chinese food with indian style… After the dinner, we had a sound meditation, but the other volunteerers went slowly home.

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One half of the group.

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One weekend we had an organized cleaning event. Our job was to collect the plastic and the glas trash. In the morning I dressed up myself fully prepared for the bush and every painful stick that could harm me. At the breakfast the older ladies asked me if I dressed up for the avoidance of the snakes and scorpios….! That was the moment I realised that   I´m not quite mentally prepared for everything…

It was fun to clean the nature and I didn´t see any snakes, but one guy found a box and when he shook the things out a tiny (size of the little finger) scorpion came outside with the biggest spider I have seen (except in the zoo)… The scorpio didn´t have a long life, the guy stepped on it immediately. I think he showed mercy to the spider (I slowly moved away from the creatures and didn´t go back to the bush)…

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The difference between an inian women´s working clothes and my adventure clothes is really funny. Imagine, they wear sari or this even for the cleaning or the field work…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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After these events (and others) I just worked on the logos and names. I even went to the beach, this time in a top and a sport-underwear (similar to a short) and I felt amazing. Finaly not naked! I enjoyed the time spent on the beach 🙂

After thinking about what I did in the last month and what I feel to do now, I made the desicion to stop working and cancel all the short and long term projects with Balu. In this past month it was getting always harder to work with Balu, due to the fact that Balu has an enormous energy. He was extreme active, he always wanted to change the things and made too much plans… I felt a pressure on the last days and I thought about it: I want to work on a place later, where I have a good feeling about my job and even under a slightly pressure I can keep that attitude…

So I realized that this is not the place I could do that. I felt inside something that wanted to push me to explore Auroville, where I live since 6 weeks, but don´t know much about it. I had a difficult conversation with Balu, who wanted to keep me at his Centre, but I just didn´t feel enough energy for that.

This has been a week now and I made a big change. I was on two salsa nights, which I have missed to do. There I met people from Germany and two nice guys from here. I started to take 2 hour long Hindi lessons 3 times a week with a nice lady (so I won´t forget this unique language, which I learned in Vienna in the university). I made an appointment to the Matrimandir to meditate and I will use the “art galery” of my community near to my room to draw and paint (maybe with some other guy from salsa). Later I want to try out the acupuncture, participate in a cooking class (to cook real indian meals) and maybe even learn about farming….

So these were my plans for this next month and let´s see if I find someone to travel with in south india…

About my inner world, I can say that I´m feeling much better now. Kind of flying without the weight I had on my shoulders. I opened up to a whole new group of people. Until now I just saw the same people at work and didn´t had time or energy to do the things I felt to do. I´m really happy that I could do this step. After a month of “work experience” in India, here is month of “creative flying”.

I´m looking forward to get new experinces. I try to write more frequently. I just had an inner down road now… but made the right decision! 🙂

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